We bought a new desk for my home office! Though we have been slow to get it set up, this week we finally got it in place and ready to use. So my assignment has been to transition the stuff out of my old desk and into the new one. For a girl who is quick to make decisions and has no trouble delineating between useful items and junk, this ought to be an easy process:
Sort through the drawers.
Throw away items that have no use.
Relocate the ones that do.
Then why is the drawer with crayons such a big deal? I mean, the youngest of my four kids is 17 and clearly, none of them has any use for crayons anymore. Yet there are still dozens of crayons taking up room in the top left drawer which, due to it’s convenient location, has been the hub of much creativity and imagination for the last 15 years of our homeschooling journey.
Today, it’s undisturbed. Little hands no longer paw through it seeking the perfect shade of blue for the sky or the right red for a flower garden or fire truck. It’s impossible to calculate how much artwork germinated from that drawer and spread all over the the refrigerator door before finding a permanent home in a box marked “Kindergarten” or “First Grade.”
No, no one asks to borrow a crayon from me anymore. But something made me want to keep them around even though there’s no practical reason to do so.
Of course, it’s obvious that the hesitancy about the crayons has nothing to do with wax sticks and colored pigment. They are a tangible reminder of change.
We all go through them. Some are dramatic and painful. Others pass almost without notice. Anticipation and excitement about new possibilities are often punctuated with hesitancy and fear of the unknown. What lies ahead? And what will we leave behind in the process?
Into these unsure moments, God speaks tenderly. “Do not fear, for I am with you; do not be dismayed, for I am your God. I will strengthen you and help you; I will uphold you with my righteous right hand.” Isaiah 41:10
Isn’t that exactly what you need to know when you’re facing uncertainty? That you’re not alone and that it’s not up to you to figure out what to do next? God reminds us in these verses that He is interested in what’s happening in our lives, and promises to strengthen us to face whatever comes our way.
I’ve been through a lot of transitions in my life, and like everyone, will no doubt go through many more. But even when stability seems tenuous, we as believers have to choose to immerse ourselves in the Word of God and hang on to what we know is true regardless of how we feel. God’s steadfastness and unchangeable nature give us the only solid foundation to stand on even when everything else in our world seems to be shifting.
So I’ll finish going through all the drawers and moving my stuff into my new desk soon. And the crayon drawer? It’ll be cleaned out too. In the meantime, I’m trusting God’s ‘righteous right hand’ to help me let go of where I have been and as He reveals where He wants me to go next. But for now, I’ll think I’ll keep a box of crayons in my new desk drawer… just in case.